Mail Order Brides 101 – Can You Buy Them Online?
A mail order bride is a label applied to a woman who advertises herself in a catalog or online marriage agency that shows her intention of marrying a foreign man. There are many online mail order bride agencies with the help of which men can find ladies for pen pals, correspondence, love and marriage. The number of Internet dating agencies representing such women has increased over the last few years. This is because Internet dating is an exciting and current option to find love and happiness. The number of marriage agencies promoting cross-cultural marriages is increasing year after year.
Typically, mail order brides Web sites comprise photographs of thousands of single beautiful women. One of the reasons for the popularity of online mail order brides is the increasing financial pressure on women, which compels them to turn towards the west for better opportunities. They believe cross-cultural marriages may bring them the financial and emotional support that they need. Online mail order bride agencies provide introductory services or match making for women. These agencies are most helpful because they can immediately inform men if the ladies they choose are interested or not.
The process of finding a mail order bride online is comparatively simple to regular dating, but may be expensive. The concept of online mail order brides is not as easy as it sounds because it may be difficult for both the bride and groom initially. The bride is often unable to speak the local language. This mainly depends on the bride's country of origin. The groom faces the risk that his new foreign wife is just using him for financial security. The bride and the groom may be unfamiliar with each other's language, food preferences and cultures.
Many women register themselves with online dating agencies in search of a life partner overseas. In their quest for a steady and secure life, women are even opting to get married to considerably older men. Some of the online mail order bride agencies furnish the necessary information for both men and women to go through before choosing a partner.
Mail Order Brides: Happiness By Adjusting Expectations
Through decades of advertising, the term "mail order bride" has become a meme. Most memes are harmless and in fact facilitate more colorful communication. Some common examples are "shop 'til you drop", or "clean as a whistle", or "talk the talk and walk the walk", and one more, uh, oh yes, "senior moment." But the term "mail order bride" carries connotations from 100 years ago that are no longer true and which render usage of the term harmful in today's world. Discontinued use of the term will result in much happier intercultural marriages through a resetting of expectations.
But the term is widely used including application of its negative connotations; the primary one being the concept of buying a woman from a catalog. Further, there are implications, derived from its original application to Asian women, that define the type of women available from a catalog.
Although the term was not invented on the Internet, "mail order brides" has definitely found traction as a useful and profitable term. It's a fact that about 100 years ago there actually were mail order brides, wherein a catalog of women's biographical info and photos could be viewed, selections made, and brides purchased. These first catalogs were for "picture brides" to be joined in marriage to Japanese and Korean labor men who had been imported to Hawaii and California during the late 1800's and early 1900's.
The picture bride phenomenon died out because of changes in U.S. immigration laws in 1924. But the legacy of bridal catalogs lived on. And the target market changed from immigrant Japanese and Korean laborers to Caucasian men. The catalogs were still focused mainly on Asian women but they promoted an ages old view of Asian women as being meek, submissive, obedient, and sexually compliant, who, by the way, had great family values.
How this came to be descriptive of Asian women is a mystery. Possibly it was an idea brought back by Marco Polo on his return from his epic journey to the Orient. Or perhaps it's affiliated with the Chinese practice of foot binding women. It's also possible that those two factors combined with the Japanese geisha girl mystique contributed to formation of the description.
However this characterization of Asian women started, it "stuck" and was widely promoted in bride catalogs. The catalogs evolved over decades to include slick color graphics and were mass marketed, on newsstands, by paid subscription, and eventually on the Internet.
Thus we have a stereotypical description coupled with the business model of mail order, and the result is "Mail Order Bride", a mechanism through which a man could browse a catalog and select a woman who appeals to him. He could supposedly "buy" her and have her perform her wifely duties for him as per his media created expectations.
Through the power of advertising and mass distribution, a meme has been created that combines a flawed view of women with a real business model. Bride catalogs are useful vehicles for people to use for connecting with potential mates. There are many hundreds of them available, both online and in printed form. And mail order is a useful, respectable business model. But there is no such thing as a "mail order bride." You can't buy a women through the mail. Period.
One other change in the bride catalogs that has taken place is that they are now increasingly multicultural. Yes there are still many Asian women in the catalogs. But there are also many Latinas. And with the breakup of the Soviet Union, there are many women of Russian heritage. Because these women are in a catalog, they all get the same derogatory "mail order bride" label slapped on them.
In fact, it's becoming almost chic to use the term. There are no less than three seriously intentioned Internet articles that referred to the English women brought to Jamestown, Virginia in 1619 as "mail order brides." Perhaps these casual types of usage are a natural process whereby the meme gradually loses its negative stigma. It would be nice if the commercial interests did their part and quit pushing a 100 year old social poison as a coveted antidote for loneliness.
The term "mail order bride" has a sad history due to factors involved in its origin. Thankfully the circumstances which lead to its creation no longer exist. But what does yet exist is promotion of the term for commercial purposes. This results in its application in totally inappropriate ways with resultant social harm. It creates resentment and a feeling of insult for foreign women. In addition it increases the difficulty of marital adjustment for intercultural marriages because of false expectations going into the marriage.
Foreign women know of this term. But for the most part, because of language challenges and cultural differences, they know of it only in a literal sense. Their reaction is disgust at their being viewed as a commodity to be bought like a prostitute. And there is no faster way to learn about the "Russian bear" than to relate to a Russian woman as if she is bought and paid for, or by expecting her to be meek or submissive.
False expectations strongly contribute to discord in any relationship. There are more than enough hurdles to work through in building a successful intercultural marriage. Adding to them expectations of behavior based on a demeaning stereotype is a recipe for disaster.
If a man will accept his foreign bride for who she really is instead of what the man wants her to be based on what he's "heard", then intercultural marriage can truly be joyous. It's your choice, men. If you are on a quest for a foreign bride, forget the "mail order bride" stuff. It's a loaded term and will set you up for failure. Rather, stretch for an enlightened perspective and do not label the women in the catalogs at all. Refer to them instead as "women looking for husbands." This will make it easier and more fun to find the one you're looking for; and when she marries you, your life together will be much more fulfilling.
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Mail-Order-Bride---Happiness-Through-Adjusting-Your-Expectations&id=5532599] Mail Order Bride - Happiness Through Adjusting Your Expectations